I once
believed that I really didn’t care if I lived or died
Then one day
I faced the thought of living without you and I saw what death would really be
like
Now I
realize, I never wanted that. I always wanted you, but my fear was larger than
my courage
There was once
a time when I would let days go by without saying I love you
Inside, I
feared having you know that you were my sun, because I was afraid you might
turn off my light
Then one day
it was pitch black and you helped me survive in the dark
Now I have no
fear of you knowing you are my sun, I just want you to shine brightly
There was a
time when I feared your touch
I literally
saw it as a potential addiction that would overwhelm me
Now that I am
fully addicted, I know that not all addictions are bad
I thank God
for my addiction and I pray that we might be blessed with a long life together
There were
days when I stayed in my room and festered over things
Things I
wanted to change and things I had hoped would be different for us both
Fighting an
unspoken battle, with you unaware
Then an
explosion went off and when I came to, you were there comforting me
Even in your
own brokenness, you helped me with your love
Today I thank
God for the individual you are
Beautiful
beyond your own recognition or my imagination
Waiting for my
words of affirmation, fearing my condemnation
Today I boldly
say, you were my gift from that first day, 8.15.1994
Long before a
call, or date, or even a kind word was passed
A gift I prayed
for, but then feared I was not qualified to have
I tore you down
to satisfy my own insecurity. That was not God’s desire for you or me
I now know that it is okay to build you up and
have you tower over me
Beautiful for the world to see, what I tried
to hide inside of me
Having allowed me to see beyond my
confusion…and find greater love
