Twelve Is Not Just Any Number.

 What comes to mind when you hear the number 12?




  At this time of year, maybe the first thought that crosses your mind is the "12 Days of Christmas". If you are a math minded person, your mind might gravitate toward the 12 inches in one foot or 12 city blocks in one mile. A criminal justice mind might find itself focused on the 12 jurors charged with determining guilt or innocence. If you happen to be an aspiring Christian, the number 12 might bring to mind any number of things. Jesus first left home at age 12 and was found in the church, after a search that lasted a few days. For those who believe in baptism, 12 is the "age of accountability", which signifies the first opportunity for any person to choose Christ for themselves. Some might also recall that there were 12 disciples, 12 tribes in Israel, or that there are 12 precious stones in the foundation of New Jerusalem. For the statistical record, the number 12 is mentioned 187 times throughout the Bible (I didn't have that one on the top of my head, it comes from patheos.com). Biblical scholars say 12 was indeed intended to be a pivotal number, an important number.



 This year in Cleveland, Ohio, a 12 year old boy named Tamir Rice was shot and killed by police. Even more ironically, he was shot on November 22, which is a pivotal date in American history. On that date, 51 years earlier, we lost a beloved president, John F. Kennedy. While no one would think that a twelve year old boy's death would merit national headlines, Tamir Rice's death has done just that. Today, the debate rages as to whether Tamir listened to or heard the officer's commands in the two seconds between the police arriving on the scene and his shooting. Some people have begun asking "how real did his Airsoft gun appear to the police?" Others have pointed out that the police were responding to a call of a "young black man with a gun" and had to make an instant decision as to the level of threat he posed. Still others have pointed out that this is only one, in a string of police killings, across our country. And so, the debate rages as to whether the police acted appropriately and rationally, in this situation.



 For me, none of those questions begin to touch on the point. Why? Because I can still remember being  12 years old. Twelve was a great time. That was 7th grade. That was my first fishing trip to American Horse Lake in my home state, Oklahoma. Prior to that, I had been restricted to pond fishing, which was well-suited for my Zebco 202. Twelve was a time of spelling tests and geography. That was a time when cowboys and Indians was a game to be played, and was not yet taboo. So I sometimes found myself fully decked-out in my cowboy boots and cowboy hat, complete with feathered headband. That was a time when my younger brother and I bought our first bows. No arrows, because my dad would not allow it. Some of my cousins had BB-guns, but again my dad thought they were too dangerous. He would say "someone will lose an eye". Obviously, this was long before air-soft came on the scene. Twelve was a time of street football with the neighborhood boys, and sometimes girls. Twelve was curb-bounce (a made up game which consisted of bouncing the ball off the curbs, on both sides of the street, for points). My older brothers, who were both in high school, had found their respective sports, so I got to spend my fair share of time watching AAU basketball games and wrestling tournaments. Twelve years old was once a great thing to be. Cops and robbers was still a game. On Saturdays, my brothers and I had Mid-South wrestling, and I still dreamed of being a rodeo cowboy. For me, twelve was a safe age to be.



  I chose to be baptized at 12, mainly because I knew Jesus had started on his path at the same age. During that time, I often wondered what Jesus would have done, if he had lived during my lifetime. I was intrigued by the idea of Jesus as my friend. Today, I try to imagine a justifiable reason for Jesus to have been killed at age 12. I imagine all the miracles that would never have occurred. I imagine the Bible as a much shorter book. There would have been no disciples, no crucifixion, no walking on water, no sermon on the mount, no last supper, no raising of Lazarus, no spit/dirt mix covering blind eyes, no feeding of the multitudes, no throwing out of the money changers, no woman at the well, and no one to teach two brothers to become "fishers of men". As is the case not only with Jesus, but with most great men, if we cut off their lives at age 12, their life story changes to one of few accomplishments.



 As America continues to test the upper end of our tolerance for violence, I think we may have simultaneously found the lower end of the acceptable age range for gratuitous killing. Twelve definitely seems more attached to the "age of innocence" than the "age of accountability", in a society that questions the acceptability of shooting it's young. In many ways, the fact that a video exists, to shine a bright light on this incident (which is probably more appropriately described as an accident) is a real inconvenience for our American psyche. In some ways, it forces us to look at a situation that we would feel much better pretending could never happen. It forces us to consider and take sides on something that we are better trained and equipped to ignore. Age12 should be a time of mall trips, birthday parties, testing independence, and awkward socializing. Twelve should fit neatly into a small window just before life becomes real, when dreams and reality are still very closely connected. Twelve is definitely more childhood than adulthood.



 What has changed is that today, all across my America, parents of "children of color" are grappling with the idea of how to explain to their preteens how to take caution and avoid being shot, if they fail to properly identify their Airsoft guns. That is not a subject we expect to find in the preteen section of the "parenting 101" handbook. Moreover, no matter how many times it is explained, a 12 year old mind will sometimes fail to fully grasp the gravity of that situation. While 12 years old is a great time to decide to follow Christ, and many churches will fully recognize an individuals right to make that choice, it hardly seems like the right time for martyrdom. Even for an advanced student, death is not yet a "real" concept at age 12. However, I guess that has changed in certain areas of our country. Yes, I had known death by the age of 12. My great grand-father had died in a car accident and a little girl from church had died from leukemia.  But I did not really understand either of those deaths.



 I cannot imagine the final moments of Tamir Rice's life without a very high level of sadness. Not because he was shot by police. Not because his life was taken so young and so needlessly. No, my sadness is aroused so clearly because today I am forced to accept the fact that in my America, in my generation, we no longer universally mourn the death of a 12 year old child. Instead, our ability to even feel sympathy has now been subjugated to our powerful and growing national filters, which allow some of us to ignore the pain that Tamir's family has been needlessly forced to endure. I still wonder what Jesus would do to force us to understand the importance of the number 12?

Sometimes Sides are for Sharing, Not for Taking.

  A few days ago, I was skipping around Facebook, as I often do, and I stumbled across a story/video of a police stop along what appeared to be a rural highway. The post said "this is difficult to watch", but I have seen so many of these in recent days and weeks that I clicked on it anyway. This particular one was labeled Victor Bradic's video and it left me shaken to the point of tears. The video presented a great argument for the use of deadly force, but only served to confuse me regarding the question of when and how law enforcement are trained to use it.

  This particular video started with what looked like a routine traffic stop. The driver who was being stopped, stepped out of his vehicle and almost immediately began acting eratically.  He seemd to be taunting the policeman from the very outset. He refused to obey any of the officer's commands and started dancing around like some drunk person or practical joker. With a blatant disregard for the seriousness of the situation, he moved toward the officer and then backed away, only to rush in again, and then back away. The entire time I was expecting some other person from within the stopped vehicle to open fire on the officer. That never happened. Instead, there was a long, drawn-out exchange of words and taunts, as the officer gave the driver chance after chance to comply and bring some semblance of order back to a chaotic situation. That never happened either.

 What did ultimately happen was like a slow-motion, train-wreck and horror movie combined. At one point, the officer can be heard calling in for help and saying that he had a man pointing a gun at him. That struck me as odd, given the fact that the officer also had a weapon AND the authority to use it. In my mind, I could not fathom the level of restraint required to stand there not pulling the trigger. The situation clearly warranted a leg shot or some warning shot, if only to regain control. That shot never came. A note attached to the video said that the officer had been disciplined recently for "acting too aggressively", so I tried to imagine that justification for the officer's inaction.

  At some point, the suspect clearly elevated things to another level, as he pointed his weapon for an extended period of time before firing at the officer. There was an exchange of gunfire and, as is the case too often these days,  the suspect seemed to have the superior fire power. A fact which he demonstrated as he advanced toward the officer, who was off camera, but somtimes screamed in obvious pain. The suspect approached the officer's vehicle from the front and completely unloaded his weapon. He then stepped back and calmly reloaded his weapon, only to re-approach the vehicle and continue shooting the officer who had moved behind the vehicle seeking cover. By now, the officer's screams were louder and more frequent. His difficulty breathing adding to my visualization that he was likely critically injured.

 I cannot begin to describe the level of anger this video created in me. That night, as I lay in bed, this video came to my mind again and again. The next morning, this video was the first thing I thought about. Even though I have no idea when this all occurred, I said a little prayer for the family; followed by a small prayer for my family, because this is the world we live in. This is the risk that many noble and gallant policemen assume daily to protect the rest of us.

 I recalled a conversation, from years earlier, with one of my good friends, who had just joined the highway patrol. The conversation was about how difficult it was for me to fathom him working the night shift, in areas of western Oklahoma, where the next patrolman could be literally hours away. The faces of many friends, relatives, and clients in law enforcement came to my  mind. The thought of any of them losing their lives to someone as cold and callous, as this monster, is not acceptable to me, on any level. This video forced me to fully appreciate the danger and risk associated with working in law enforcement, especially in our high caliber, sometimes fully automatic world. Many of the lawmen I know personally are husbands and fathers. But even when they were not yet those things, they were eligible bachelors, working hard in school, and in life to fulfill their dreams. No one has the right to take a policeman's life or to deprive that officer's children and grand-children of the positive influence he/she would have represented for future generations.

 I wrote this today because I wish that officer could have found it in himself to shoot first and live. I recognize that in the moment, he might have heard the voices of his supervisors telling him to show restraint. I recognize that he might have seen something in this particular suspect that reminded him of an uncle, or a "crazy" relative, or a friend, causing him not to shoot. I can imagine him thinking about telling this story later to his fellow officers and recalling with some level of pride, how he had been able to hold it together and avoid shooting this fellow citizen. Yet, as hard as I try, I cannot imaging a scenario where this could have happened if the suspect had been a person of color. Not because I assume that this officer was racist. After all, my group of law enforcement friends are both black and white. Some are part Hispanic and others part Native American. I know that sounds far too politically correct, but I live in Oklahoma and most people here have some, not too distant, ethnicity. Race is not the determining factor here, our culture is.

 Honesty is the first step to resolving any problem. Without it, we, as Americans, are doomed to keep reliving very similar nightmares, while talking past each other on issues of race. In truth, we all make daily assumptions about the people we encounter. Sometimes we afford people an unearned and undeserved level of respect and trust. In other situations, we all struggle to get beyond unwarranted levels of distrust that can manifest themselves as disrespect. Most of us accept, and have grown to expect, that a policeman in Beverly Hills, CA might have a different level of tolerance than one in Compton, CA. No one is saying that officers should stand idly by while suspects are loading, aiming, and discharging their weapons. On the other hand, most Americans are not comfortable with a "shoot first and ask questions later" approach, even in a war zone. The real problem, however, is that both are occurring, at the same time, in different areas of our American cities and our country as a whole. The cost is lives lost.

 There are too many videos out there now and too often they depict varying levels of latitude and discretion. In some cases, suspects are shot within seconds of officers arriving. While in other cases, there are 45 minute standoffs. Some Americans, myself included, cannot wrap our heads around some citizens being shot, with toy guns and BB-guns, within seconds of first contact; while others are given the latitude to stand in public areas, refusing to put down their assault rifles. In the end, those disparities have an actual cost in lives lost. At the same time, they undermine the moral authority of every person who ignores the intellectual disconnect represented there. So when people take to the streets of New York City or Portland, OR, because they perceive a problem in their city, it is not my place to assume that I know more than they do. Assuming them all to be idiots is an arrogance our nation really cannot afford right now. It is far more reasonable to assume that the news in their cities, has given them some information which inspired them to action. It is better for me to assume that they, living in their towns, are better able to understand their lives, rather than taking the pejorative position that I know their lives better than they do.

 Most importantly, although I would  trust any of the law enforcement people I know personally with my life, I do not project that trust across the entire country. I also do not think, for one second, that good people with good intentions are incapable of making mistakes. I have a lifetime of experience that tells me otherwise. I believe that every life has some God-given, intrinsic value and every God fearing person has an obligation to do what they can to save each and every one of them. I believe that the protection of both officers and American citizens are not mutually exclusive goals. We don't have to choose one or the other. Both can and should co-exist. Our law enforcement professionals have the capacity and will to learn and improve their policing techniques. Our future demands that when we are asked the question: "do you want policeman to go home safely to their families at night or 12 year old's with toy guns to survive an encounter with those same police?" We are able to calmly and assuredly answer "both"!

 P.S. Do yourself a favor and don't search out and watch the video. Just take my word that the video exist. The video is truly painful and disturbing.